Reacquaintance
Hello,
Its been a while since I blogged. Still trying to figure out why I’ve been on such a long and prolonged hiatus. A few reasons come to mind. First, I am thoroughly displeased with the current state of this website. I need to re-design it from the ground up. I’ve bitched about this in other blog entries before, and I guess I have to mention it again. But I feel somewhat distressed blogging here in movabletype when I know that I should be devoting my energies to installing an alternative system… In a word, UPGRADE! Cause I do get tired of cleaning the sh*t off of the guestbook every two days…
Second excuse, I really didn’t have the time. I was swamped with school. That summer semester was the most intense period of education that I have ever experienced… I literally lived in the library… So when could I have blogged in that maelstrom? I know I could have. But these are the decisions I made…
Third. I fell in love.
This is THE reason. I don’t know why it is that I blog in the first place, or who it is that I’m talking to here, so I didn’t really feel comfortable talking about my personal stuff here… Plus, I violated the prime directive. Never fall for an exchange student… Long distance relationships are not my favorite form of entertainment. They hurt. Like hell. What I thought might be a nice two weeks ended up being 4 months as I followed my love to her home country. It was nice. It was bliss. Now I’m back. And she is still there. Reality is not an easy pill to swallow. I’m currently in the process of picking up the pieces and trying to ‘get over’ my whole summer and ‘get on’ with life. Whatever that means.
So there you have it. The top three reasons why I haven’t been here in reverse order from a bleeding soul at two in the morning.
But I feel such an overwhelming desire to write. This summer I was also introduced to a great German writer Rainer Maria Rilke, and his wonderful Letters to a Young Poet. His advice: only write if your life depends on it. If you would rather die than be prevented from writing, then make your life revolve around that. I can feel that compulsion in my blood. I feel it boiling in my stomach. I find that the blog is somewhat of a release. Its not the writing I desperately want to do, yet it is writing…
I feel better.
P.S. If the blog is kept somewhat up-to-date, I guess it shows how utterly lazy and uninterested are the people who say “I haven’t heard from you in so long”, “You don’t call” etc…